“The truth of the matter is that I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you. You have never chosen me… [and yet] I still end up here in front of you. Looking at you. Wanting you. In love with you.”

– Scandal by Shonda Rhimes

When I first heard this I was absolutely gutted. This is such raw vulnerability in acknowledging to yourself that you continue to one someone who does not to choose you, let alone actually admitting that to said loved one. I find this beautiful, heart wrenching, and amazing because this is not something we see in our day to day world.

This world has become fearful of vulnerability and rejection. The speck of times we do work up the courage to ask someone out or confess feelings, it’s through a text message, not even a face to face interaction or phone call. We follow it with turning our phones on do not disturb mode, throw it across the room, and try to distract ourselves with another task.

When did we start to fear vulnerability?

It is just part of love. We are all searching for someone we can  connect with, care for, be vulnerable with. We want to be seen and embraced as a whole, and letting someone see the depths of your heart and soul is the best part.

Even when it’s unrequited, you should always tell someone you love them. Don’t be a prisoner to fear—open up your heart. Our mind is so focused on the negative possibilities, and those thoughts just grow and spread within you like a disease. It may feel foolish to love someone who doesn’t love you back, but to me it feel so incredibility human. To love is to risk. Be courageous, confess your feelings, get embraced or get rejected—it doesn’t matter. Everything you experience only makes you a stronger person.

Loving someone is never a waste. They are like a piece of artwork—stare and admire their soul, their body, their mind. Tell them you love them, I think it’s the biggest compliment you can give someone.

The most striking aspect of this quote is the level of honesty.  It is a confession of truth from the heart. It speaks to how love can be unbalanced or painful. That sometimes our hearts can lead us somewhere that is not met with open arms of reciprocation. And that yet, we continue to love because we can and because that’s how we feel.

Unreciprocated love challenges us to find balance between honoring our feelings and protecting our hearts. We have to face the difficult questions within ourselves: how long are you going to stay here hoping they’ll see us they way we see them? At one point do we choose ourselves and our peace after the endless yearning for another?

This kind of love teaches us so much: the capacity of balancing love and pain, connection, strength in hope, and our humanity.

Know that your love is always valid, but so is your need to be loved in return. You can still carry love for that person in life, but there is beauty and courage in choosing yourself and stepping away  from breaking your own heart day after day. Give yourself the permission to find a love that chooses you back as well.